If not now, when?

Hillel says, "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?" Ethics of the Fathers, 1:14

Next week, G-d willing, I will be celebrating a significant milestone in my life - achieving the half-century mark. As I fully intend to live to be 100, that's halfway through my life's journey.

As I recently said to my friend Jodi, also turning 50 this year, they don't make 50 like they used to. Once upon a time, a 50-year-old woman was old. Nowadays, I know 60-year-olds who easily bike over a hundred kilometres a day. I know octogenarians who regularly hit the gym. We are fortunate.

So, this is the year I am going to run at least one 5K (I did one last October, but I've let it slip since), lift heavy things and become a strong, healthy person. Maybe I'll even run a 10K. Why not?

This is also the year I am going to find my passion and go after it. I'm going to kick the Lizard Brain in its scaly tail. I've spent too much time worrying and procrastinating and reading Facebook. I don't know yet what I want to be but I've got to grow up sometime. If not now, when?

This is the year I'm going to figure out the veggie paleo gig and blog about it. You are all warned. It may seem like a contradiction in terms, but I'm going to find a way to make it work. It may not be fully paleo or fully veggie, but that's OK. If it works for me and my family, it is good. If I am not for myself, who will be for me?

This is the year I'm going to find ways to give back to my community. I keep meaning to go out and volunteer with all kinds of worthy causes, but there is always something else going on. Enough. I need to do it. I do some things, but I need to do more, and I need to involve my kids. We all spend too much time in front of screens. If I am only for myself, what am I?

Whether you are hitting a significant milestone or have just noticed that time is slipping by, what are your plans for this year?

A Fallen Tower of Strength

Tomorrow I am going to a funeral. It is not unexpected - the older gentleman in question had been in palliative care for some time. When last I saw him, he was very frail, his bones weakened by multiple myeloma. A particularly cruel diagnosis for a man whom I have always thought of as a tower of strength. I did not know him well, for he was not a communicative man; but I had the honour and pleasure of serving with him on a board of which he was President.

Physically tall and powerful, he was the volunteer all non-profits dream of. He did not enjoy long meetings or impractical chatter, so any meeting he chaired was likely to be short and result in useful action. While he was often impatient of dithering, his old-fashioned courtesy rarely faltered during the meeting itself, although what he said afterwards might be another matter. He made unpopular decisions, where necessary, with courage and carried them through with determination. He never allowed politics to blind him to the good of the community, and he achieved much for us in a relatively short time, shepherding us through difficult transitions with grace and humility.

I am grateful to have known him and to be able to enjoy the fruits of his labour. May his memory be a blessing.

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Update: I met the bereaved mother in the gym again, and had the opportunity to apologise. She was very gracious and kind. A classy lady. Thanks to all who absolved me of guilt.