Tell the Truth, All the Time, with Compassion

I'm not sure I'm allowed to use this picture of David Wood, but I'm going to do it anyway, and I suspect David will not sue me for it. He's not that kind of guy.

I discovered David Wood via Dean Dwyer, who interviewed him about his remarkable life - growing up in England, leaving school at 15, working as a window washer, then travelling the world for over 10 years before settling in Canada and becoming a multi-millionaire.

David is a "trainer's trainer" - he discovered that his passion lay in helping people lead the lives they want, and that is a quest I am quite serious about these days (heck, I'm fifty years old and STILL not sure what I want to be when I grow up, although I'm getting a better idea thanks to people like Dean and David). I've been listening to his podcast The Kickass Life for a few months now, and enjoying it very much. So why am I blogging about it now?

I got a little behind with the podcasts, what with the holidays and all, and was listening to Podcast number 053,  released on October 30th, while doing my Shabbat cooking yesterday. I was stunned to hear him read out and praise a review that I'd left on iTunes a little while back. It's about 4 minutes in. In particular, I'd forgotten that I'd mentioned one line of his, which had caught Dean Dwyer's attention and also mine. Here it is:

Tell the truth, all the time, with compassion.

 Now, I don't think of  myself as a liar, but you know those casual little white lies we all indulge in - saying we were caught in traffic when we really left the house too late, for example. It really is a trivial thing, but I think it shows a deeper mindfulness to find a way to apologise for being late without lying or being hurtful.

It's also a matter of courage, of taking responsibility for your decisions. If I decide to keep one of my kids home from school because I think they need the day off, I don't say they are sick. I don't hide receipts from my husband and I don't sneak things into my kids' food.

Sometimes life is harder when you decide to tell the truth all the time, but so far I haven't regretted it. My late grandmother was the kind to rub your face in her version of the truth whether you wanted it or not, and that's not what I'm doing. I might choose not to volunteer information if I can't think of a compassionate way of sharing it. But I think it is a great maxim to live by.

What do you think?

Justice - #BlogElul 29

This is it - the last #BlogElul post of this season. It is now officially Erev Rosh HaShanah, or New Year's Eve. No champagne going on here, just lots of cooking and cleaning and preparing.

I find it fascinating that Rabbi Sommer chose Justice as the final theme, rather than Mercy or Compassion (in fact, neither of those appears here at all). While we envision G-d as a stern Judge and Ruler, we also entreat Her to sit on the Throne of Compassion as we stand in judgment.

In general, G-d admonishes us to pursue justice (Deuteronomy 16):

יט  לֹא-תַטֶּה מִשְׁפָּט, לֹא תַכִּיר פָּנִים; וְלֹא-תִקַּח שֹׁחַד--כִּי הַשֹּׁחַד יְעַוֵּר עֵינֵי חֲכָמִים, וִיסַלֵּף דִּבְרֵי צַדִּיקִם.	19 Thou shalt not wrest judgment; thou shalt not respect persons; neither shalt thou take a gift; for a gift doth blind the eyes of the wise, and pervert the words of the righteous.
כ  צֶדֶק צֶדֶק, תִּרְדֹּף--לְמַעַן תִּחְיֶה וְיָרַשְׁתָּ אֶת-הָאָרֶץ, אֲשֶׁר-יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ נֹתֵן לָךְ.  {ס}	20 Justice, justice shalt thou follow, that thou mayest live, and inherit the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

But on the Day of Judgment, we implore G-d for mercy and compassion instead.

To quote King David, who understood about justice and mercy (Psalm 130):

א  שִׁיר הַמַּעֲלוֹת: מִמַּעֲמַקִּים קְרָאתִיךָ    יְהוָה.	1 A Song of Ascents. {N} Out of the depths have I called Thee, O LORD.
ב  אֲדֹנָי,    שִׁמְעָה בְקוֹלִי: תִּהְיֶינָה אָזְנֶיךָ, קַשֻּׁבוֹת--    לְקוֹל, תַּחֲנוּנָי.	2 Lord, hearken unto my voice; {N} let Thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications.
ג  אִם-עֲו‍ֹנוֹת תִּשְׁמָר-יָהּ--    אֲדֹנָי, מִי יַעֲמֹד.	3 If Thou, LORD, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand?
ד  כִּי-עִמְּךָ הַסְּלִיחָה--    לְמַעַן, תִּוָּרֵא.	4 For with Thee there is forgiveness, that Thou mayest be feared.
ה  קִוִּיתִי יְהוָה, קִוְּתָה נַפְשִׁי;    וְלִדְבָרוֹ הוֹחָלְתִּי.	5 I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in His word do I hope.
ו  נַפְשִׁי לַאדֹנָי--    מִשֹּׁמְרִים לַבֹּקֶר, שֹׁמְרִים לַבֹּקֶר.	6 My soul waiteth for the Lord, more than watchmen for the morning; yea, more than watchmen for the morning.
ז  יַחֵל יִשְׂרָאֵל, אֶל-יְהוָה:    כִּי-עִם-יְהוָה הַחֶסֶד; וְהַרְבֵּה עִמּוֹ פְדוּת.	7 O Israel, hope in the LORD; for with the LORD there is mercy, and with Him is plenteous redemption.
ח  וְהוּא, יִפְדֶּה אֶת-יִשְׂרָאֵל--    מִכֹּל, עֲו‍ֹנֹתָיו.	8 And He will redeem Israel from all his iniquities. {P}

May everyone be inscribed in the Book of Life for a sweet and good year. I'll see you again on the other side.